Lesbi-Honest: Candid Convos With Later-in-Life Lesbians Sarah

💡 Host bio
Sarah St John is a woman who faced a major crossroads in her life after being married for 18 years and getting divorced. Despite not having children, she had to navigate the difficult transition from a comfortable and seemingly problem-free marriage to being on her own. Throughout her marriage, she had enjoyed the financial stability and companionship that came with being married, but now she is forging a new path for herself. Her experience has given her a unique perspective on the challenges of starting over and she hopes to inspire others who may be facing similar situations.
ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome to the latest episode of the Lesbi-Honest Podcast! In this episode, our host, Sarah St John, sits down with special guest Suzette Mullen, a remarkable book coach and author who is dedicated to amplifying LGBTQ+ voices. Suzette shares her inspiring journey of coming out in her mid-fifties and her subsequent work as a book coach for memoir and nonfiction writers, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community. With warmth and wisdom, she delves into her experiences, the choices she faced, and the ongoing process of living authentically. Join us as we explore Suzette's powerful story, the complexities of coming out, the value of authenticity, and the importance of finding joy and freedom in living one's truth. Stay tuned as we uncover valuable insights and hear more about Suzette's memoir and coaching services.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Transitioning to writing, becoming a book coach.
03:48 Editing nonfiction while cultivating a supportive environment.
06:43 Discovery of true self, challenging journey ahead.
10:38 Kept my sexuality secret until unbearable pain.
15:32 Acknowledging one's sexual orientation against resistance.
17:03 Christian friend questioned coming out as gay.
20:35 Being queer has risks but brings joy.
26:26 Struggling with coming out in a marriage.
27:46 Husband's support, fear, and advice for women.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Primary Topic: Suzette's Journey and Work
- Suzette's professional background and transition to writing and coaching
- Lawyer, stay-at-home mom, social justice advocate
- Late start in writing and editing
- Suzette's memoir and book coaching focus
- Memoir about coming out in her mid-fifties
- Focus on memoir and nonfiction writers, particularly LGBTQ+ community
- Creation of a safe space for vulnerable writers
- Suzette's coming out journey
- Realization of love for a female friend
- Difficult decision about sexual identity and established life
- Balancing staying in a safe, comfortable life vs. risking it all for an envisioned life
Primary Topic: The Process of Coming Out
- The ongoing nature of coming out
- Decision-making process
- Dropping breadcrumbs of truth
- Balancing unbearable pain of lying with fairness to others
- Discomfort with labels and language
- Embracing the pride flag
- Negative experiences and reactions
- Experiences and reactions to coming out
- Different reactions from individuals in Suzette's life
- Privilege as a heterosexual person
- The cost of authenticity and potential joy and freedom
Primary Topic: Living Authentically
- Joy and freedom on the other side of coming out
- Finding a way to live fully and authentically
- Capturing the joy and glow desired for oneself
- Fear, peace, and freedom accompanying being true to oneself
- Facing crossroads and big decisions
- Holding both joy and grief in an authentic life
- Work on the second memoir, "After the Leap"
- Challenges of realizing one's identity within a marriage
- Grappling with the decision of what to

💡 Speaker bios
Susan Cottrell and her husband were deeply involved in the evangelical church for 20 years, finding a sense of community and family within it. However, their perspective changed when two of their five children came out as queer. This prompted a re-examination of their beliefs, as one of their children expressed that they had tried to resist their identity but ultimately realized they could not deny who they were. This experience led Susan to become an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community within religious spaces, and she has since dedicated herself to supporting and affirming queer individuals within faith communities.
ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome to "Lesbi-Honest," where we dive into the stories and experiences of the LGBTQ community and those who advocate for their rights and acceptance. In this episode, we are joined by the inspiring Susan Cottrell, founder of Freehearts, an organization dedicated to helping families accept and support their LGBTQ children. Susan shares her powerful journey of questioning traditional religious teachings and finding a new path of embracing love and acceptance. She challenges the notion that God wants parents to reject their LGBTQ children and urges them to seek a community that aligns with unconditional love. From discussing the concept of hell as a metaphor to unpacking the church's resistance to change, Susan offers profound insights and encouragement. Join us as we explore her wisdom and experience, and embrace the message of love and inclusion.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Primary Topic: Susan Cottrell's Work with Freehearts
- Susan Cottrell's encouragement for parents to accept their LGBTQ children
- The challenge against the idea that God wants parents to reject their LGBTQ children
- The importance of separating God from the church's teachings
- The advice for parents to seek a new community that embraces acceptance and love
- Understanding LGBTQ issues through the Freedhearts community
Primary Topic: Susan Cottrell's Personal Journey and Freehearts Organization
- Susan and her husband's experience in the evangelical church
- Founding Freehearts as a blog and expanding it to include resources, online groups, and a podcast
- Susan's ongoing work on a book about deconstruction and reconstructing faith
Primary Topic: Concept of Hell and the Church's Teachings
- The absence of the concept of hell in the Jewish Bible
- Hell as a pagan belief introduced between the Old and New Testaments
- Criticism of the traditional teaching that humans are inherently sinful and wretched
Primary Topic: Jesus' Teachings and the Church's Responsibility
- Jesus' deconstruction of empires and his focus on valuing regular people
- Jesus' criticism of religious leaders in the Bible
- The church's teaching of contempt against LGBTQ individuals, contrary to Jesus' teachings
Primary Topic: The Future of the Church Regarding LGBTQ Issues
- The potential trend towards affirmation for LGBTQ individuals within the church
- Resistance to change within the church due to reluctance to admit wrong
Primary Topic: Interpretation of Hell in the Bible
- The interpretation of hell as metaphorical rather than a literal place of torment
- The belief that the idea of a punishing God goes against the essence of God's love and the freedom of humanity
Primary Topic: Encouragement and Reassurance
- Reassurance to the queer community that feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and unworthiness are not from God
- The encouragement to trust in the God that loves them
- The emphasis to rely less on the religious community that tells them God doesn't
Primary Topic: Conclusion
- Sarah St John's appreciation for Susan's time and her thanks for reaching out
📚 Timestamped

💡 Guest bio
Rev. Brandan Robertson's journey to becoming a pastor began at the age of 12, when he had a conversion experience at a Baptist church in Maryland. Despite growing up in a non-religious household, he felt a distinct calling to pursue a career in the ministry. Now, at the age of 32, he has dedicated himself to fulfilling that calling and is on the path to becoming a pastor.
ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome to the Lesbi-Honest podcast, where we talk openly and candidly about the experiences of later in life lesbians. In this episode titled "Brandan Robertson.mp3," your host Sarah St John engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Reverend Brandan Robertson. They explore the impact of TikTok in spreading discussions about sexuality and religion, challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community in religious spaces, and the importance of creating inclusive environments. Brandan shares his personal journey, challenges faced within the evangelical community, and his advocacy for an inclusive modern gospel. From the historical context of anti-LGBTQ teachings in Christianity to advice for those coming out later in life, this episode is filled with insightful reflections and empowering messages. Join us as we delve into this fascinating and illuminating conversation.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
1. Brandan Robertson's Personal Journey
- Upbringing in a non-religious environment
- Joining a Baptist church at age 12
- Attending an evangelical school in Chicago
- Experiencing resistance and threat of expulsion for questioning evangelical theology
- Being subjected to conversion therapy at his school
- Facing backlash from the evangelical community after coming out
- Finding support from other Christians and a different kind of Christianity that embraced inclusion
- Mission to help queer people find their space in the church and challenge the church to change its teachings regarding the queer community
- Family's reaction and support
- Shock from the hate received from evangelicals and Christians
2. Christianity and LGBTQ+ Community
- Historical context of anti-LGBTQ stance in Christianity
- Comparing current anti-LGBTQ teaching to ancient perspectives on same-sex male sexuality
- Harmful effects of current teachings on LGBTQ individuals
- Presence of queer individuals in scripture, citing references to eunuchs and their potential representation of nonbinary or gay people in ancient texts
- Highlighting the baptism of the Ethiopian eunuch as evidence of inclusion in the Christian church
- Acknowledging the selective acceptance of adoption by straight couples and challenging the belief that children need both a male and female parent for proper development
- Emphasizing the need to contextualize biblical teachings within the cultural norms of the time
- Challenging the idea that procreation is the sole basis for valid marriage and advocating for supporting queer people in adopting and raising children
- The Bible as descriptive, not prescriptive, and the need to interpret biblical teachings within their cultural context
- Debate on traditional heterosexual relationships being the only ones displayed in the Bible
3. Queer Representation and Marginalization
- Role of societal norms in perpetuating fear and misunderstanding of queer individuals
- Impact of lack of representation on harmful legislation and violence
- Marginalization of intersex, trans, and non-binary individuals
- The destabilization of existing societal structures and perceptions by increased visibility and exploration of gender by younger generations
- The world's tendency to simplify everything into binary choices, and why it's not helpful
4. Advocacy,...

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ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome to another captivating episode of Lesbi-Honest! I'm your host, Sarah St John, and today we have a very special guest joining us. Please give a warm welcome to Lacy Jones, a talented musician, former ministry leader, and an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. Lacy's journey is one filled with personal struggles, navigating religious institutions, and ultimately finding her true authentic self. In this episode, Lacy opens up about her experiences in ministry, the challenges she faced as a queer individual, and her courageous decision to come out. From her encounters with discrimination to the complexities of family relationships, Lacy's story is captivating and inspiring. Get ready as we dive into the depths of Lacy's journey and explore the power of embracing one's true identity. You won't want to miss this heartfelt and honest conversation. Let's get started!
❓ Questions
Question 1: In this episode, Lacy Jones discusses her experience with a ministry that discriminated against LGBTQ+ individuals. How do you think this type of discrimination impacts the mental health and well-being of those affected?
Question 2: Lacy shares her struggle with being labeled as a "lipstick lesbian" by a person she sought counseling from. How does this labeling affect their sense of identity and self-acceptance?
Question 3: Can you relate to Lacy's experience of feeling pressured to hide her true identity and conform to a certain image in order to be accepted by her church community? How do you think this pressure can impact an individual's authenticity and mental health?
Question 4: Lacy talks about her journey of self-discovery and therapy, which led her to realize they were in a cult. How important do you think it is for individuals to seek therapy and professional help when they suspect they might be in a harmful or manipulative environment?
Question 5: Lacy mentions the fear of losing her church family and the implications it would have for her music ministry if she were to come out. How do you think fear of rejection and losing support networks can affect a person's decision to come out and live authentically?
Question 6: Lacy emphasizes the importance of sharing stories, especially those that happen in secret or in the dark. How can storytelling and sharing personal experiences contribute to breaking the silence surrounding LGBTQ+ discrimination and fostering understanding and empathy?
Question 7: Lacy discusses the concept of "bearing their cross" and facing criticism as an opportunity for growth and refinement. How do you think facing criticism and adversity can shape a person's resilience and personal development?
Question 8: Lacy shares her experience of finding love and support in the church after growing up in a dysfunctional home environment. How can faith communities provide a sense of belonging and support for individuals who come from challenging backgrounds?
Question 9: Lacy's journey involves reconciling her faith with her identity. Have you or someone you know experienced a similar struggle? How did you navigate the intersection of your identity and your beliefs
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💡 Guest bio
Candice's story is one of self-discovery and resilience. Growing up in a Christian environment, she grappled with her own identity and struggled with depression and anxiety. It wasn't until she reached college that she realized she was gay, a realization that completely caught her off guard. This revelation propelled her to want to help others in similar situations, leading her to pursue a career as a therapist. Drawing upon her own experiences, Candice is determined to provide support and guidance to individuals who may be facing similar challenges. She understands the pain of feeling conflicted and aims to help others accept and embrace their authentic selves.
ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome back to another episode of Lesbi-Honest, the podcast where we dive into the stories and experiences of individuals who have overcome challenges, found self-acceptance, and built fulfilling lives. I'm your host, Sarah, and today we have a special guest joining us. Please welcome Candice Zuberty, a therapist and founder of The Christian Closet, dedicated to providing LGBTQ affirming counseling, coaching, and spiritual direction.
In today's episode, Candice opens up about her personal journey into counseling, the launch of The Christian Closet, and her own discovery and acceptance of her homosexuality. We'll explore the complexities of coming out later in life, the intricacies of navigating non-affirming families, and the importance of finding a supportive community.
Sarah and Candice discuss the difference between being tolerated, accepted, and affirmed, especially in the context of churches that claim to welcome everyone. They shed light on the potential impacts of internalizing homophobia and how seeking therapy from an LGBTQ+ affirming clinician can be transformative.
Throughout this candid conversation, you'll hear stories of resilience, love, and healing. We'll also explore practical advice for those who may be struggling with their own identities or facing challenges within their families and communities.
Join us as we listen to Candice's insights, personal experiences, and the valuable lessons she's learned along the way. So grab a cup of tea, find a cozy spot, and get ready for another inspiring episode of Lesbi-Honest.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00:42 Intersecting story, self-acceptance, and painful struggle.
00:06:42 Bible college friends, disagreement, reconciliation, acceptance.
00:08:57 Mom feared hell, dad's heart attack. Burdened secrecy, painful distancing. Relief in death desired.
00:13:23 Build a supportive team, find independence, be brave.
00:17:01 Fear of being discovered on podcast.
00:20:10 Supporting LGBTQ+ individuals navigating relationships, spirituality, and self-acceptance.
00:21:20 Rediscovering and healing spiritual path to God.
00:27:05 Seeking counseling for religious affirmation and acceptance.
00:27:56 Important distinction: Tolerate vs Celebrate LGBTQ+ individuals.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Primary Topic: Introduction and Background
- Introduction to the podcast episode and the guest, Candice Czubernat
- Curiosity about the difference between being welcoming or accepting versus affirming in the context of churches
Primary Topic: Candice's Journey and The Christian Closet
- Candice's journey into counseling and the launch of The Christian Closet
- Her personal experience in discovering her own gayness
- The focus of The Christian Closet on helping individuals heal from spiritual abuse and trauma, and coming out to non-affirming families
- The prevalence of individuals coming out later in life due to growing up in a Christian context
Primary Topic: Personal Experiences and Relationships
- Candice's personal experiences with being in the closet and hiding her true...